a cry in my eye*

i’m struggling with what to write in this space. i had very brave notions of how i might share the details of our journey…

…but I can’t.

i can’t break down our days…the minutiae of  the ways that we navigate the waters of life with our boy…without losing something. i feel as if i’m giving away something that isn’t mine to give….and i hesitate to suggest that our way is any better {or worse} than the ways other families are living with autism.

i don’t feel as if our story is simply a story of his quirks and how we’ve managed around/with them.

i want  our story to be not a chronicle of deficits or differences, but of celebration — of this child of the stars — and those like him. that is what i would choose, if i could, to be the legacy of the gift of him…that even if i could help only one other person to see autism for what is is and what it can be…and that perhaps the autists  dance of life is one whose steps we need to learn, rather than trying to force them to our neurotypical rhythm…then i will have learned what he was sent to teach me.

and so that is where i shall begin.

*beautifully, a Sebastianism

8 thoughts on “a cry in my eye*

  1. Many tears here … especially as I believe in general China does not “recognize” autism or any notion of a spectrum of conditions/behaviors (please excuse my lack of vocabulary for this area). As hard as it is in our countries where there is limited understanding, I can only imagine how utterly overwhelming it must be for the families in China. Which makes this story all the more amazing and moving.

    Loving you and your wide, mama heart! xox

  2. so beautiful, as love always is.

    I love the concept of star children – remote, and yet they shine.

    do you really think there is such a thing as neurotypical? I dislike that term, because I can’t believe typical thinking/perceiving exists. and it sounds too much like “normal” versus “abnormal” dressed up in a fancy word. but that’s just me 🙂

    blessings to you and your family.

    • the concept of star children hit me like a freight train…i love it so much and it so encapsulates my boy…bright, shining…and so far away at times

      i don’t think there’s any such thing as ‘neurotypical’ — i agree it’s just a euphemism adopted instead of saying “normal” which would then imply “abnormal” which is so distasteful in this politically correct world…;) I can’t believe that perception is the same for anyone…how differently a sunrise must look to a poet or a painter or a mathematician or an atheist…;)

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