a cry in my eye*

i’m struggling with what to write in this space. i had very brave notions of how i might share the details of our journey…

…but I can’t.

i can’t break down our days…the minutiae of  the ways that we navigate the waters of life with our boy…without losing something. i feel as if i’m giving away something that isn’t mine to give….and i hesitate to suggest that our way is any better {or worse} than the ways other families are living with autism.

i don’t feel as if our story is simply a story of his quirks and how we’ve managed around/with them.

i want  our story to be not a chronicle of deficits or differences, but of celebration — of this child of the stars — and those like him. that is what i would choose, if i could, to be the legacy of the gift of him…that even if i could help only one other person to see autism for what is is and what it can be…and that perhaps the autists  dance of life is one whose steps we need to learn, rather than trying to force them to our neurotypical rhythm…then i will have learned what he was sent to teach me.

and so that is where i shall begin.

*beautifully, a Sebastianism